Visiting Expert
I suppose you are unaware
of my experience in this field
having completed multiple residencies
first in Oncology,
then switching fields and moving
to Psychiatry and finally specializing
in Geropsych.
My daughter lies in her carseat which
I rock back and forth
until my shoulder feels like that of
a pitcher in the 8th inning…
I think I need a Vicodin,
not that I’d admit that to you.
Dressed down because
I left my white coat
in the rental car, you assume
I’m here to learn from you.
Switch carseat to the other hand
Most of his chart is on paper
but your fingers click on keys that
pull up only the past few months
due to the transition
to paperless charts
I am a visiting expert.
If you knew the right questions
you would ask, and fast!
for I have studied him
over a lifetime.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Full House
I thought I would blog more, but at the moment we have a rather full house. Currently we have 4 adults and 6 children, ages 13, 11, 9, 4, 3, and not quite 1. Jay's brother is here from Norway with his family. This is the first time I've seen my niece, and she is DARLING! (Of course, I'm not at all biased.) Now, if we could just convince my nephew that we really don't understand Norwegian. We manage to communicate, though, even with the language barrier. I did discover that he knows the words to 5 Little Monkeys Jumping On the Bed, which was quite helpful when we were driving in the car without his parents.
Needless to say, we're rather busy around here at the moment.
Needless to say, we're rather busy around here at the moment.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Good Enough
I always struggle with the concept of "good enough".
A former counselor taught me the phrase, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Depending on the day, it seems either profound, or insane.
(Yes, this is a conversation with myself... If you've never tried it, don't knock it.)
"I wonder if I could do that?"
"Sure you could. You've known a lot of less capable people who do it."
"Yeah, but could I do it WELL."
"That depends on your definition of "well". You're good enough to try."
"Good enough. That sounds like I'm lousy at it."
"No, it just means you're good enough. Good enough to start. You're currently competent, but in a place to learn more. Lot's of people shoot for competent."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that..I mean...well, I don't want to be good enough or competent. If I try something,I want to be GOOD at it."
"How can you be GOOD, or GREAT, or even FABULOUS, if you don't start as good enough? You have the the basic skills, now you just have to take a risk. You have to be willing to try and fail. You have to DO THE WORK."
"The problem is that I only want to do what I KNOW I can do well. I'm willing to do the work, but only if it's going to be a sure thing. I need to know the rules. I want to do the right thing. If I do break the rules, I want to KNOW I'm breaking them. "
"What happened to play?!? What happened to trying new things? Remember , well behaved women rarely make history."
"I don't know. Is that even Christian. I mean, God wants us to do great things for Him. What if I get off on a tangent and do the wrong things. What if it's all about me? "
"Quit pulling the God card at the wrong time. Get over it, Raedeana. Would you accept this from anyone else? Did God make you just to swat you and spit on you if you make a mistake? What about Grace? What about the parable of the talents?"
So, it's time for a challenge...time to take a risk. I keep saying I'd like to go back to school, and Jay keeps encouraging me to take Wednesday evenings off. I'm going to start with a writing class at the Hugo House.
A former counselor taught me the phrase, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Depending on the day, it seems either profound, or insane.
(Yes, this is a conversation with myself... If you've never tried it, don't knock it.)
"I wonder if I could do that?"
"Sure you could. You've known a lot of less capable people who do it."
"Yeah, but could I do it WELL."
"That depends on your definition of "well". You're good enough to try."
"Good enough. That sounds like I'm lousy at it."
"No, it just means you're good enough. Good enough to start. You're currently competent, but in a place to learn more. Lot's of people shoot for competent."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that..I mean...well, I don't want to be good enough or competent. If I try something,I want to be GOOD at it."
"How can you be GOOD, or GREAT, or even FABULOUS, if you don't start as good enough? You have the the basic skills, now you just have to take a risk. You have to be willing to try and fail. You have to DO THE WORK."
"The problem is that I only want to do what I KNOW I can do well. I'm willing to do the work, but only if it's going to be a sure thing. I need to know the rules. I want to do the right thing. If I do break the rules, I want to KNOW I'm breaking them. "
"What happened to play?!? What happened to trying new things? Remember , well behaved women rarely make history."
"I don't know. Is that even Christian. I mean, God wants us to do great things for Him. What if I get off on a tangent and do the wrong things. What if it's all about me? "
"Quit pulling the God card at the wrong time. Get over it, Raedeana. Would you accept this from anyone else? Did God make you just to swat you and spit on you if you make a mistake? What about Grace? What about the parable of the talents?"
So, it's time for a challenge...time to take a risk. I keep saying I'd like to go back to school, and Jay keeps encouraging me to take Wednesday evenings off. I'm going to start with a writing class at the Hugo House.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The diagnosis is "Back to School Panic"
A few days ago I started wondering if I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Given my family background, it's not such a funny thought. Then I remembered...this always happens to me just before school starts. I desperately need a break and start falling to pieces. This year, my exhaustion is mixed with a huge dose of excitement. Three of the four dear children are schooling at home. It's my dream job, but I wonder if I've gotten in totally over my head, teaching preschool, 5th grade and 8th grade simultaneously.
My homeschool room looks like a tornado hit it. I know where my lesson plans are (and they ARE ready), but everything else is a whirlwind of books, papers and craft supplies stirred together. It's like the soup that kids #2 and #4 were making together yesterday in the yard. They had just filled up the wading pool with fresh water. The next thing I know, kid #4 is stirring the pool with a big stick, as if it were a witches cauldron. Kid #2 is dropping in bits of grass, weeds, flowers, leaves, rocks.
I opened the window and the first words out of my mouth were, "What do you think you're doing!"
The answer was so obvious.
"Were making soup!" he said, his eyes bright with excitement.
He's so happy! I remember a time, less than a year ago, when he was too afraid to play outside. Now he's in the front yard with his sister making a nature stew.
Here I am, worrying about the mess when a miracle has occurred on my front lawn. Now I do feel like a fool, but the panic is gone. This is the life I dreamed for him. Yes, it's a few years later than I had hoped, but I don't want to miss it. Maybe it's an Indian summer, but it's our summer. And it's sweeter because it came late. If it had come earlier, I wouldn't have appreciated it quite so much.
...and we do have guests coming next week.....and the house is a wreck....and school is less than 3 weeks away. There is always something.
Right now, I'm going to try to let go and embrace our Indian summer.
My homeschool room looks like a tornado hit it. I know where my lesson plans are (and they ARE ready), but everything else is a whirlwind of books, papers and craft supplies stirred together. It's like the soup that kids #2 and #4 were making together yesterday in the yard. They had just filled up the wading pool with fresh water. The next thing I know, kid #4 is stirring the pool with a big stick, as if it were a witches cauldron. Kid #2 is dropping in bits of grass, weeds, flowers, leaves, rocks.
I opened the window and the first words out of my mouth were, "What do you think you're doing!"
The answer was so obvious.
"Were making soup!" he said, his eyes bright with excitement.
He's so happy! I remember a time, less than a year ago, when he was too afraid to play outside. Now he's in the front yard with his sister making a nature stew.
Here I am, worrying about the mess when a miracle has occurred on my front lawn. Now I do feel like a fool, but the panic is gone. This is the life I dreamed for him. Yes, it's a few years later than I had hoped, but I don't want to miss it. Maybe it's an Indian summer, but it's our summer. And it's sweeter because it came late. If it had come earlier, I wouldn't have appreciated it quite so much.
...and we do have guests coming next week.....and the house is a wreck....and school is less than 3 weeks away. There is always something.
Right now, I'm going to try to let go and embrace our Indian summer.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Yesterday's wise words of the day...
I don't consider myself to be a Charlotte Mason follower, but I love this quote.
"If mothers could learn to do for themselves what they do for their children when these are overdone, we should have happier households. Let the mother go out to play! If she would only have courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or half a day, out in the fields, or with a favourite book, or in a picture gallery looking long and well at just two or three pictures, or in bed, without the children, life would go on far more happily for both children and parents. The mother would be able to hold herself in ‘wise passiveness,’ and would not fret her children by continual interference, even of hand or eye––she would let them be."
Charlotte Mason
"If mothers could learn to do for themselves what they do for their children when these are overdone, we should have happier households. Let the mother go out to play! If she would only have courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or half a day, out in the fields, or with a favourite book, or in a picture gallery looking long and well at just two or three pictures, or in bed, without the children, life would go on far more happily for both children and parents. The mother would be able to hold herself in ‘wise passiveness,’ and would not fret her children by continual interference, even of hand or eye––she would let them be."
Charlotte Mason
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